Friday 28 September 2012

The Problem Of Prostitution- How To Overcome It

What is Prostitution?? Prostitution is the act or practice of engaging in sex acts for  money. While prostitution is legal or tolerated in some cultures, it is illegal or socially discouraged in others. Motivations for suppression can vary significantly, from basic moral repugnance to concerns about the effects on society and on those who practice it, as well as whether it is an exploitative practice. In most cultures the prostitutes (the persons who sell sexual services) are socially stigmatized.

Prostitution is nothing but a curse to those whose are involved in this shameful act. But it has been flourishing since ages either in the name of hobby of the rich or due to family circumstances. Even then a prostitute is the most condemned creature of the society. She is treated worst than the animals and thus she has to lead a miserable life of an out caste in the society. There are two main reasons, why women take to prostitution. The first reason is the greed to accumulate more and more money and the second reason is the lack of necessities of life. Some women are greedy by nature and are fond of a glamorous life. Not only this, they have the inner urge to have sex with many men.

This unconscionable tendency in  a woman, turns her into a prostitute. The second reason is lack of funds to exist in life. Some women are forced to live the life of the prostitute due to bad circumstances. These types of women are very poor and they don’t have sufficient money to lead a decent life, thus, they tune to prostitution in order to fulfill their necessities of life. The woman loses her modesty after becoming a prostitute. She becomes vulgar and shameless. Women and children from India are sent to the Middle East daily. Girls in prostitution and domestic services in India, Pakistan and the Middle East are tortured, held in virtual imprisonment, sexually abused, and raped. India and Pakistan are the main destinations for children under 16 who are trafficked in south Asia.

The following steps should be taken by the Govt. and voluntary agencies to eliminate prostitution:

  • They should be educated about the consequences of having sex with many men. They should be made aware of the diseases occurring due to this shameless act and how their status in the society is  condemned.
  • They should be given spiritual education  in meditation and lectures from spiritual texts.
  • They should be given employment opportunities, and given jobs according to their caliber and hard work.
  • Last but not the least, they and their children must not be condemned by the society, but corrected, instead, so that they are able to lead a disciplined life in the society.
  • Prostitution activities are initiated to alleviate the stressors associated with poverty, structural barriers, and family dysfunction
  • Social Adjustment- Adapting to new environment
  • Modification of one’s behavior to accommodate personal & social needs
  • Intense street learning focusing on the code of conduct including protective strategies & introduction to the lifestyle of prostitution
  • Re-evaluation of life their lives.
  • Restrictive factors (pressures from law enforcement & child protective services) & Physical deterioration

Tuesday 25 September 2012

Save Girl Child Save Womanhood

In ancient India, the birth of a girl child was hailed as auspicious. We have inherited the cultural legacy of having strong non-preference among all communities, religious groups and citizens of varied socio-economic backgrounds. Women are the receiving end in Indian society. They are ill treated or tortured at every stage. A girl child is in bondage from her very childhood. She is under constant vigil, first by the parents, then her husband and finally her own children. Not only that, she is often condemned to death even before she is born. This is called female killing in the womb itself.

Women’s work is limited to household duties. At the time of marriage, dowry is given by the bride’s family to the groom’s for shouldering ‘the burden of the bride’. In many communities, as custom female babies are killed immediately after birth, either by the mother or by elderly women of the family to relieve themselves from the life of humiliation, rejection and suffering.

Social discrimination against women results in systematic neglect of women’s health, from womb to tomb. Female infanticide and female feticide are widely practiced in many States.

The reason of female infanticide can be linked with the evil of dowry  prevailing in our society. A more degrading and disparaging feature of the society has seen existing for the last two decades is the immense love for a male child and the elimination of a female fetus. With the invention of new technologies to monitor the ‘Fetal’ health, it was expected to be used for taking care of the health of the unborn child, but it became the terminator of female fetus. Are female fetus being deliberately eliminated or aborted, is the question? Answer is, yes!, to  a great extent. Are the technologies (ultra-sonography, material serum analysis etc.) assisting in elimination? Again the answer is; yes, to a great extent.

The greatest tragedy is that, women themselves permit the death of their daughters as mercy killing. Unwanted baby girls are often left on the road or in the maternity homes at night. This is due to the  illegitimate sex before marriage or due to the death of the husband , who maybe the only source to take of the mother and child.. This unhealthy practice has caused great imbalance in the ratio of boys and girls in several states and communities. To prevent this situation we must provide proper education and strict laws, which can trap the criminals..

Biologically girls are stronger. While there can be no moral or ethical justification for feticide still, it continues to be practiced. In fact sex determination which was mainly restricted to metros only now, is prevalent in villages as well. If sex determination tests are allowed to proliferate, and the elimination of female fetuses allowed, the society should be ready to pay for this sin soon, in near future.

The greatest supporters of a child (whether male or female) are the natural parents. If a girl has a father who loves her and grants all her fundamental rights that girl is  invaluable. Fathers often provide material comforts but deny daughters their right to choose their life partner.

For a daughter there can be no greater misery, than to know that her father does not support her. If she was an unwanted child, the despair is compounded. To go through life and realize that she was thrust on her unwilling parents is a fate much worse than death. What can be more disgracing than the feeling of nothing more than a contraceptive failure?

It is true that women should have the right to abort their unwanted fetus, but if the technology is being used only to eliminate the female fetus, then it should be questionable.

The root cause for elimination of female fetus is to be traced unless the evil of forced marriages, dowry, and illiteracy among the females are done away, with, but lives of women will not improve. Banning prenatal sex determination might add a feather in the caps.

A social awakening for true respect  for the girl child is required., A lot of honest hard work with full political ‘will’ in this field can only solve the problem of girl fetus killing.

A few lines from a poem on women is coming to mind. ..Here for you all…

Women are wonderful!
They are graceful!
They have compassion and concern for fellow beings!
they are care  takers of family & society!
They should be appreciated, admired, respected!

At the end, I would just say let us educate & sensitize people, change mindset & attitudes, save girl child on war-footing.

Friday 21 September 2012


As we are humans. we tend to get affected by our surroundings, by our work pressure, by problems in personal or professional lives and by the behavior of our near and dear ones. This pressure results in rudeness in our behavior  and sometimes we vent out our frustration by being rude to our close ones.
Did anyone of us ever notice the after effects of it ? Did we ever think for a while that how our near and dear one would be feeling after we misbehaved.?

Have you ever watched one person act rudely towards another? Isn't it embarrassing? You may well feel sorry for the target and maybe wonder if you should intervene or something.
Did you know that it can also damage your mental performance, stunt your creativity and make it more likely that you will be less social towards others?

It has  been observed by different universities in researches that if you have been a target of rudeness or a witness that directly or indirectly affects one’s peace and performance. In subsequent tests, those who saw the rudeness solved less problems, came up with fewer creative ideas and were less likely to volunteer for other activities.

So what's going on? When we see others being threatened or in distress, we tend to perform a threat assessment, wondering what harm may be done. We may well empathize with the victim, feeling their distress and perhaps wondering if we should intervene in some way.

We may also worry about what we would do in their position. Maybe also we side with the aggressor, thinking that the target deserved the rude comment (though such thoughts seem less likely). Whatever goes through our heads, it takes cognitive effort and can be emotionally draining, all of which distracts us from the task in hand and may make us more reticent about sticking our necks out in future.

The implications for workplaces where rudeness is commonplace are very significant. It is not just the victims but everyone within earshot and even those who hear about it someway are affected. And the bigger sufferer is the employer, customers and shareholders.

Now in order to get the victim out of this trauma phase , best would be to apologize . A proper apology should always include  detailed discussion of the situation, acknowledgement of the hurt or damage done, taking responsibility, recognition of role in entire situation, statement of regret, asking forgiveness, promise that it won’t happen again  and most important trust in the relationship.

Wednesday 12 September 2012

Self Development: Response Vs Reaction

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming due to fear. With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but landed on another lady in the group. Now, the waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In this chaos, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach. I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle their behavior  that disturbs me. It’s not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle such situations that disturbs me. More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life. 

Lessons from the story: - I understood, I should not react in life. I should always respond. The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of,  and save a situation from going out of hand, to avoid cracks in life, to avoid taking decisions in anger, anxiety, stress.

After The Delhi Bomb Blast

In the market, where items  fell off the shelves, people were picking up things so honestly together, and then quietly standing in line to buy food. Instead of creating panic and buying as much as needed, they bought as little as they needed. I was proud to be an Indian.

When I was walking back home, , there was a lady holding a sign that said, ’Please help us serve these bomb blast victims.’  They were shifting the injured to the nearest clinic, nursing home or hospital. There was not even a single sign of hate or enmity amongst these people from different religions. I was really touched, when I saw the warmth of the people.

Different schools in the vicinity were giving out candies. High school girls were taking as many as they could. I was forced to think," For What???"  But in the next minute, they reached the children in the evacuation place and handed it to each one of them. That was a sweet gesture.

My co-worker wanted to help somehow, even if it was just helping  one person.  So he wrote a sign: "If you're okay with a motor cycle, I will drive you to your house."  He stood there with that sign. And then I saw him taking away one gentleman to his house, all the way to NCR!  I was so moved. I also felt like helping others too.

A high school boy was saved because he hid himself under the broken shed little away from the spot where the blast took place. The blast was so sudden, that he just saw people caught with fire trying to frantically hides themselves from the mess happening around. To help others, I kept asking them about his  loved ones so that they can be informed. That poor kid still was unable to reach his own parents but just said, "It’s nobody's fault. There is no one to blame. We have to stay strong."

There was a lack of medical services being offered. The medical help was either closed or were having very long lines. I got worried, since I was behind 15 people. I was trying to help out that small little boy. Finally, when it was my turn, the man smiled and said, "Because of this situation, we are only giving some quantity to everyone. Is that alright?"  "Of course its alright.  I'm just glad that we are all able to help these victims as much as we can," I said.  His smile gave me so much relief.

I saw a little boy thanking a road cleaner, saying, "Thank you so much for trying hard to help him in getting out of the place easily."  It brought tears to my and the employee's eyes, too .

A friend told me that she was shocked to see a long, neat queue form  behind one public phone. Everyone waited patiently to use the phone even though they must have been eager to call their families.

The traffic was horrible!! Only one car could move forward at a green light. But everyone was driving so calmly. During the 10 hour drive (which would only take 30 minutes normally) the only horns I heard was a horn of thank you. It was a fearful time -- but then again a time of warmth and it made me love India more and more.

Last night when I was walking home (since all traffic had stopped), I saw an old lady at a bakery shop giving out free bread.  Even at times like this, people were trying to find what they can do and it made my heart warm.

When I was waiting at the metro platform, so tired and exhausted, a homeless person came to me and gave me a cardboard to sit on.  Even though we usually ignore them in our daily life, they were ready to serve us.

A juice company was donating free drinks. Different food products were given by food companies, and everyone was trying to help the best way they could.  

We too, have to stand up and do our best.

In one area, when the electricity returned, people rejoiced.  And then someone yelled: "We got electricity because someone else probably conserved theirs!  Thank you so much to EVERYONE who saved electricity for us.  Thank you everyone!"

An old man at the evacuation shelter said, "What's going to happen now?"  And then a young high school boy sitting next to him said, "Don’t worry!  When we grow up, we will promise to fix it back!"  While saying this, he was rubbing the old man's back.

Through all this, I felt hope. There is a bright future, on the other side of this crisis.

This is what we call as Hope …