Sunday 2 December 2012

Expectation Vs Relations

An understanding of life's meaning being critical to a progressive society, understanding  relations and what we expect from them is something  too intricate to understand. .Somewhere within us, we all have desired that at some point in life, someone must clarify this subject eventually. I know this is something way beyond discussion or writing but today my ongoing thoughts are forcing me to pen down these things in front of you all and know your views.

Hope by the end, we would be able to get something fruitful...

In general, when we discuss, everyone says it is wrong to keep expectations in any relation. But according to my view, is expecting a reciprocation in any relation is wrong?. Let me state here, that by relations, I don’t mean only a relation between a couple, what I meant any relation, can be our relationship with our parents, siblings, relatives or our friends.

How does a lady feel who has been married to a person for more than 30 years? As  per the lady, love, relation, understanding is all she looks forward to in her relation., Here the best thing is to quote her own words  "The thing about being married to the same man all my life is it's given me the beautiful honor of falling in love with him over and over again." What she's not saying, is the truth. In order to have the beautiful honor of falling in love with him over and over again, she's also fallen out of love with him over and over again . Those devastating words might signal the end of a relationship, but they may not. All she is expecting in her relation with her husband is just a bit of reciprocation of feelings.

Similarly, in our relation with our parents,  who taught us the meaning  of every relation, they  bring us up and take care of us for years  and are, also worried for us to be safe, loving us unconditionally.  In fact I would like to say here they start loving us even before we come into the form of a piece of blood and flesh. In return, they never expect anything more than a little reciprocation of love and care. Is it wrong on their part to expect this much?

In same fashion, if I talk about our friends, if we  give our full attention and support to our friends who need a true ear to listen and guide him/her, is expecting the same in return is wrong ?. If we give our friends or a friend in particular some importance or a position in our life as a human, we tend to  desire a bit of reciprocation or acknowledgement of the same. It is not always necessary to prove a friend in need is a friend in deed but only sharing, caring and acknowledgement can make the bond stronger with each passing day.

What I feel in any of the relationship without a little reciprocation, then the person who is weak in expressing has to undergo the one of the most painful things any person can ever hear.  devastating. This situation of an individual can even lead that person to feel where others words like, ignorance can feel like the end of the world.

Such a person usually feels a loss of desire, and love and desire keep relations together for the long heave. The feeling of being devastated and lonely is powerful and when it wanes it leaves a relationship feeling hollow. What I feel, that the relationships that last a lifetime or even a long time will always experience the ebb and flow. This flow always makes relations work and make them long term, else things become stagnate and boring .

Some where I have read ‘Buddhism teaches us that nothing is permanent’ . When it comes to relationships that might mean, that a relationship itself might be temporary if reciprocation or acknowledgement is not there. It also might mean that the state of the relationship must change if a relationship is to continue to exist.

At the end, I would like all my readers to share your views in evaluation to thoughts, lets share our view points and get to understand things and relations in a more better way.