Expectation Vs Relations
An
understanding of life's meaning being critical to a progressive society, understanding relations and what we expect from them is
something too intricate to understand.
.Somewhere within us, we all have desired that at some point in life, someone
must clarify this subject eventually. I know this is something way beyond discussion
or writing but today my ongoing thoughts are forcing me to pen down these
things in front of you all and know your views.
Hope
by the end, we would be able to get something fruitful...
In general, when we discuss,
everyone says it is wrong to keep expectations in any relation. But according
to my view, is expecting a reciprocation in any relation is wrong?. Let me
state here, that by relations, I don’t mean only a relation between a couple,
what I meant any relation, can be our relationship with our parents, siblings,
relatives or our friends.
How does a lady feel
who has been married to a person for more than 30 years? As per the lady, love, relation, understanding
is all she looks forward to in her relation., Here the best thing is to quote
her own words "The thing about
being married to the same man all my life is it's given me the beautiful honor
of falling in love with him over and over again." What she's not saying,
is the truth. In order to have the beautiful honor of falling in love with him
over and over again, she's also fallen out of love with him over and over again
. Those devastating words might signal the end of a relationship, but they may
not. All she is expecting in her relation with her husband is just a bit of
reciprocation of feelings.
Similarly, in our
relation with our parents, who taught us
the meaning of every relation, they bring us up and take care of us for years and are, also worried for us to be safe, loving
us unconditionally. In fact I would like
to say here they start loving us even before we come into the form of a piece
of blood and flesh. In return, they never expect anything more than a little
reciprocation of love and care. Is it wrong on their part to expect this much?
In same fashion, if I
talk about our friends, if we give our
full attention and support to our friends who need a true ear to listen and
guide him/her, is expecting the same in return is wrong ?. If we give our
friends or a friend in particular some importance or a position in our life as
a human, we tend to desire a bit of
reciprocation or acknowledgement of the same. It is not always necessary to
prove a friend in need is a friend in deed but only sharing, caring and
acknowledgement can make the bond stronger with each passing day.
What I feel in any of
the relationship without a little reciprocation, then the person who is weak in
expressing has to undergo the one of the most painful things any person can
ever hear. devastating. This situation
of an individual can even lead that person to feel where others words like,
ignorance can feel like the end of the world.
Such a person usually feels
a loss of desire, and love and desire keep relations together for the long heave.
The feeling of being devastated and lonely is powerful and when it wanes it
leaves a relationship feeling hollow. What I feel, that the relationships that
last a lifetime or even a long time will always experience the ebb and flow.
This flow always makes relations work and make them long term, else things
become stagnate and boring .
Some where I have read
‘Buddhism teaches us that nothing is permanent’ . When it comes to
relationships that might mean, that a relationship itself might be temporary if
reciprocation or acknowledgement is not there. It also might mean that the
state of the relationship must change if a relationship is to continue to
exist.
At the end, I would
like all my readers to share your views in evaluation to thoughts, lets share
our view points and get to understand things and relations in a more better
way.